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Surviving the Empty Nest

Empty Nest Syndrome 

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When kids go off to college, many parents feel pangs of Empty Nest Syndrome. Parenting encompasses a huge part of your life. The changes brought on by this transition can be tough to handle, but you can survive and grow when your kids leave the nest.

Enjoy Your Alone Time
Remember all those days when your kids played their music too loudly and you wished for a time of peace and quiet? That time is now! Enjoy it by reconnecting with yourself. Pick up where you left off an old hobby when you had kids, or develop a new one.

Learn New Things
You now have the time you’ve always dreamed of to do all those things you put off for the kids. Learn to cook. Learn a new language. Learn to paint. Sign up for that class you’ve always wanted to take.

Rekindle Old Relationships
Reconnect with your partner. Have a date night or do an activity you both enjoy. Remember why you’re together and all the great times you had before kids. Now is also the perfect opportunity to get back in touch with old friends. If there are friends you haven’t seen because you haven’t had the time, contact them and let them know you want to renew your friendship.

Find New Meaning
Parenting has filled your life with meaning up until now. Empty Nest Syndrome doesn’t spell the end of that. While parenting will still be a huge part of your life, albeit in a new form, find something new that you value. Use your strengths and skills to help others and add new meaning to who you are.

 

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If the Nest is Empty Try a Smaller One

One of the most noticeable things you’ll experience once you’re home is an empty nest is how big your house is.  For some this may be a relief.  If you’ve managed to cram too many people into too small a space for twenty plus years, then that “bigness” will feel awesome.  If you’ve been fortunate enough to have a house big enough to house everyone comfortably, that “bigness” may feel like a quiet cavern.  So if the nest is empty, try a smaller one.

Many times, empty nesters will take their new found freedom and radically change their lives to suit themselves instead of their children.  A big mortgage and big property taxes aren’t necessary anymore.  Neither is that big lawn that requires hours of maintenance.  Downsize.

Today’s real estate market is positioned to support the buyer.  A smaller and more manageable home might be the way to go.  Condos are popping up in every city.  Would that be a good move for you?  A single parent might prefer the condo community to a house.  Not only would the place be low maintenance and better suited for a single resident, but you’d have so many new neighbors to get to know.

Keeping that big house just in case the kids come home isn’t practical for you.  With the money and taxes you save on your new smaller space, kids can stay in a nearby hotel.  Sure.  You want to spend time with them, but they’ll be just minutes away, and that’s better than hundreds of miles away at college. Remember, the kids aren’t there to help you maintain a big house anymore.  There’s more to it than space issues.  There’s extra work for you.

The most important thing to consider is that a smaller place won’t feel so isolated and lonely.  You can feel cozy and intimate again.

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The Empty Nest Syndrome Just Became the Boomerang Syndrome

All the fear of being alone and depressed after the kids move out and go to school can suddenly sound like a pretty good prospect if those kids end up moving back home when they should be out on their own.  In a case like this, the empty nest syndrome just became the boomerang syndrome.

This phenomenon is prevalent with today’s generation of young adults.  After a brief period of living on their own, they ultimately move back home with Mom and Dad.  That’s about the time parents are over the grief of the children leaving home.  They’re just settling into a nice, quiet lifestyle that suits them and no one else.  Then, here we go again.

The reason for the boomerang generation’s move back into the nest is typically financial.  It is also caused by divorce and addiction issues.  That means the parents are likely having to support an adult child.  What income the child does have is usually theirs to spend on themselves.

The whole situation can be a strain.  Kids are suddenly back under the rule of the house after having their freedom.  Parents are suddenly deprived of their privacy again.  The conflict can get to be pretty intense if some rules aren’t established before the child moves back in.

An adult child should pay rent to his parents.
An adult child should take his equal part of the housekeeping duties.
An adult child should wash his own clothes.
An adult child should buy groceries.

Most importantly, the parents need to make sure the child understands it’s a different home now.  Just because the child is contributing doesn’t give them the right to smoke or drink or have rowdy friends in the house.  Those demands should be a part of the rental agreement.  Also, if the child is without a job, they should be actively searching for one every day.  Parents who totally support adult children do them a terrible disservice.

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Teen Drug Addiction

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Teen drug addiction is a growing problem. Although it’s much easier to turn a blind eye to the problem than face it head on, this doesn’t solve the problem. Instead of watching your child torment themselves with drugs or alcohol, take these steps to help.

Is My Teen Addicted?

While many parents may think it’s somewhat normal to experiment, this can often turn into addiction. Here are some signs to look for:

  • Social withdrawal or a completely new set of friends
  • Sudden need for extreme privacy
  • Disappearing at odd hours
  • Money or possessions start to disappear
  • Your prescription medications are low
  • Odd pills are found laying around
  • Sudden mood changes – either up or down
  • Missing school more often
  • Unexplained empty cough syrup or pill packages
  • Soda cans that are bent strangely or have burn marks

Addiction can be a Symptom of a Bigger Problem

While addiction can be all about the drugs, it can also be a sign of a deeper problem. In many cases, your teen may be extremely depressed or anxious. Don’t ignore any psychological problems just because drugs are involved! Ask your teen WHY they do drugs in addition to what they are taking and how often.

Help is There for You and Your Teen

Although this may be the most difficult decision you ever make, it will be the right one. Your teenager has a better chance for recovery in a rehab center than in any type of outpatient or do-it-yourself treatment. They may try to talk you out of it, but don’t let them! In a rehab center, they will get the support and the treatment they need for a successful future. To find a great rehab center near you, visit TheCyn.com.

If you feel that your teen may be addicted to drugs, don’t take a wait and see attitude. This problem only gets worse with time!

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Strategies for Dealing WIth Empty Nest Syndrome

When parents are raising their children they often look forward to the peace and quiet they will get when their children leave home. However when this situation actually happens some parents find themselves feeling depressed and lonely without the companionship of their children. This feeling is often referred to as “Empty Nest Syndrome”.

Therapists believe that this change in living conditions can be more damaging to a parent than issues such as trouble with the in-laws and divorce.

Many parents feel lonely when their children leave home. Though this happens with both genders it is more commonplace in women. This a natural feeling as most parents have spent at least eighteen years with their children in their home. When all the children have left home many parents feel like their job is over and done with.

The name given to this feeling of depression and grief was put in place by psychologists in order to address an issue that many parents all over the world are dealing with. There are a few ways to deal with empty nest syndrome.

Firstly it is important that parents acknowledge the way that they are feeling. The more that parents understand why they are experiencing these emotions the better equipped they will be to deal with bad days when they come.

One of the most obvious solutions is that parents stay in contact with their children. This will help parents to stop missing them too much.

Lastly parents should make an effort to find activities and events they enjoy. By keeping their lives full they will have less time to feel depressed.

Children leaving home is not easy for most parents. However the sad feelings associated with it will subside over time. Parents need to be patient and start building a life for themselves that does not require daily contact with their children.

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A Brief Note on the Empty Nest Syndrome

It is common to see children leave their homes to build their life on their own in the world today. After a certain age they leave their parents and try to make their mark in the world. At this point, the parents feel a sense of loneliness which is termed as empty nest syndrome. It is called so by comparing it with the nesting habits of a bird.
The empty nest syndrome is generally experienced more by women than men as it is seen that they are much closer to their children. The sudden feeling that they no longer as much importance as they did when the children stayed with them leads to these feelings. Though there may be a strong bond even through a distance, there won’t be any hands-on role for the parents in the child’s life.

The causes of this syndrome are many. It can be due to the child going for higher studies in a far off place so that they can no longer stay with their parents. Or it can be that they got a great job in some other country making them leave their native place. Another common reason is the child getting married, which makes them shift the house.

The syndrome is aggravated owing to fact that extended families don’t exist anymore. In the old days when the children went away from home there were others to make you feel comfortable and needed, whereas with the concept of nuclear family, parents are easily left behind with no one to interact with them.

The empty nest syndrome is specially seen in countries where you find a clash between traditional values and westernization. It is seen that the people of nations in such a situation have been prone to the syndrome in past few years.

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Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is a psychological problem which is faced by parents, mainly mothers when their child leaves home for further studies or any other reasons. The parents play a crucial role in the development of a child. Everything about the child is taken care of by the parents. There are parents for whom children means everything for their life. The involvement with the children becomes a major part of their life. With that important part of their life leaving home they are left alone and emptiness starts sneaking into their lives.

A large number of teenagers leave their homes to pursue further studies. When they leave their homes, the parents start missing them. It is something like a part of their life has gone missing. The time dedicated for the children is left vacant. A feeling of sadness and grief crops up during such situations. It is quite natural to feel sad when your child suddenly leaves home after spending so much time together. However, for some women this feeling of grief remains for a long time. The lingering of this feeling can be referred as empty nest syndrome. It is mainly mothers who suffer from the syndrome, especially the single mothers. For them, their entire life was committed for the well-being of the child. Hence when he leaves home, a sense of worthlessness prevails in their mind. The same mental state also happens when a child gets married as matrimony is seen as signifying the decreasing importance of parents.
It is hard for parents to get accustomed to such situations. The time taken to cope with such a situation depends from parents to parents. However if the condition persists for a long time, it is advisable to seek professional help. Going through a long period of depression and loneliness is extremely bad for the mental health of a person and needs treatment.

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Treating Empty Nest Syndrome

When a teenager leaves home for schools, colleges or universities, a large section of parents start suffering from what is known as the empty nest syndrome. Parents, especially mothers during such times suffer from loneliness and depression. Parents spend most of their times doing things keeping in mind the welfare of their children. Hence when a child leaves home, the purpose of their living suffers a setback. The absence of their children, the main focus of their life, creates a vacuum in their life.

It becomes really hard for some parents to deal with such a situation. The intensity of suffering from this depression depends from person to person. There are parents who are successful and busy, but yet they suffer from this syndrome. They miss their children terribly and spend a lot of time in their children’s rooms in order to feel their presence. It is natural to feel lonely when a child leaves home for the first time. Depression and emptiness are common in such circumstances. However if the feeling continues for a long time and everything looks miserable, it is better to take professional help. Counseling can help you in coping with the situation and getting the situation under control. Making yourself useful for the society as a whole will also help a lot in reducing the feeling. Involving yourself with several welfare activities will take away lot of your time and you will be left with little time to think and feel depressed.

Parent can also help themselves by keeping a pet. A living pet can bring immense cheer and happiness into your life. When you start questioning about your usefulness, it is the presence of an innocent pet which can change your life drastically, for the better. The unconditional love which they offer will usher in a new zeal of life in you.

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Parent And Child-The Ultimate Bond

Man, with his immense inventions and discoveries, have yet not been able to define or match the power of nature, which has an unexplainable capacity and power to look after all the needs of life. In the same way, it’s a natural instinct of every mother and father to take good care of their child and understand their needs from time to time. Nature itself has built an invisible physical, emotional and spiritual bonding between parents and children. The depth of this divine bonding will increase as the child grows up under his/her parents’love, care and protection.

This is the reason why every individual is first and foremost deeply influenced by their parents or care taker, whom they are brought up with. As time passes, the child grows up into an independent individual and at some point of time, leaves their parents and home, to another place, for the purpose of education, or to start a new life with a life partner after marriage.

This is the stage of parenting when parents struggle most, to accept and cope up with what is called Empty Nest Syndrome, when they feel a strange emptiness and loneliness in life, as if they are abandoned. Recovering from this emotional stress will take some time and how they come out of this situation, depends on the individuals.

The main reason why parents have to go through this condition is due to their unavoidable emotional attachment to their children. The mind of a parent, especially a mother will never accept the fact that their children are now grown up. Another cause is the natural habit of human, as a social being to always depend on others, searching for emotional security in relations, especially in the case of middle aged parent and their children.

There is no short cut in life. Every parent will have to go through this stage at some point of time.

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Empty Nest Syndrome- Know It

Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of obvious feeling of loneliness amongst parents or guardians when their children leave home for college or school, around whom their whole life revolved for so many years at home. It is more conspicuous in non-working mothers and guardians, who used to spend most of their time taking care of children from their nutrition, clothing and nurturing. When child leaves the home for schooling or college, the guardians feel an empty gap in their life and in the worst case some think that their purpose of life has ceased because most of their life used to revolve around that kid.

The symptoms of Empty nest syndrome may range from a mild to a very harmful one. General symptoms are a feeling of loneliness, emptiness or a gap in life. Some start having a feeling of purposelessness, they start feeling unwanted or no longer needed in a physical or psychological way. Recent researches have shown that the syndrome is more prevalent in the cultures where the grand parents look after their grandchildren in an extended family. But when the child leaves, they feel very lonely and useless of themselves.

Researches have also shown that it is more common in the regions of Asia and middle-east than in the western societies because these places have more extended family culture than nuclear family culture. Modernization of even these places has made caring for elder family members very impracticable for the family members resulting in unavailability of anyone to be with those elderly members. This is more common in grandparents, or housewives who don’t work outside.

The cure to this syndrome is to find ways to divert the mind of the one affected with it. The easiest way to do so is to get a pet. They get to take care of pet like they did of their child and also they feel a sense of purpose.

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