One of the most noticeable things you’ll experience once you’re home is an empty nest is how big your house is.  For some this may be a relief.  If you’ve managed to cram too many people into too small a space for twenty plus years, then that “bigness” will feel awesome.  If you’ve been fortunate enough to have a house big enough to house everyone comfortably, that “bigness” may feel like a quiet cavern.  So if the nest is empty, try a smaller one.

Many times, empty nesters will take their new found freedom and radically change their lives to suit themselves instead of their children.  A big mortgage and big property taxes aren’t necessary anymore.  Neither is that big lawn that requires hours of maintenance.  Downsize.

Today’s real estate market is positioned to support the buyer.  A smaller and more manageable home might be the way to go.  Condos are popping up in every city.  Would that be a good move for you?  A single parent might prefer the condo community to a house.  Not only would the place be low maintenance and better suited for a single resident, but you’d have so many new neighbors to get to know.

Keeping that big house just in case the kids come home isn’t practical for you.  With the money and taxes you save on your new smaller space, kids can stay in a nearby hotel.  Sure.  You want to spend time with them, but they’ll be just minutes away, and that’s better than hundreds of miles away at college. Remember, the kids aren’t there to help you maintain a big house anymore.  There’s more to it than space issues.  There’s extra work for you.

The most important thing to consider is that a smaller place won’t feel so isolated and lonely.  You can feel cozy and intimate again.

All the fear of being alone and depressed after the kids move out and go to school can suddenly sound like a pretty good prospect if those kids end up moving back home when they should be out on their own.  In a case like this, the empty nest syndrome just became the boomerang syndrome.

This phenomenon is prevalent with today’s generation of young adults.  After a brief period of living on their own, they ultimately move back home with Mom and Dad.  That’s about the time parents are over the grief of the children leaving home.  They’re just settling into a nice, quiet lifestyle that suits them and no one else.  Then, here we go again.

The reason for the boomerang generation’s move back into the nest is typically financial.  It is also caused by divorce and addiction issues.  That means the parents are likely having to support an adult child.  What income the child does have is usually theirs to spend on themselves.

The whole situation can be a strain.  Kids are suddenly back under the rule of the house after having their freedom.  Parents are suddenly deprived of their privacy again.  The conflict can get to be pretty intense if some rules aren’t established before the child moves back in.

An adult child should pay rent to his parents.
An adult child should take his equal part of the housekeeping duties.
An adult child should wash his own clothes.
An adult child should buy groceries.

Most importantly, the parents need to make sure the child understands it’s a different home now.  Just because the child is contributing doesn’t give them the right to smoke or drink or have rowdy friends in the house.  Those demands should be a part of the rental agreement.  Also, if the child is without a job, they should be actively searching for one every day.  Parents who totally support adult children do them a terrible disservice.